I can't stand it. Why do we always end up like this when we have to part?
We're just like little kids fighting over something that in the end doesn't have any meaning.
Why do we always try to have a nice time but somehow we keep messing everything?
Why tha hell do we always, but always keep the most important things to say hidden?
Why do we always say "It's nothing. We're not arguing. Everything's ok. We're fine this way."
WE CAN'T BE FINE.
I'M NOT FINE.
I KNOW YOU KNOW THIS.
I keep regretting all kinds of things that I say. But what pisses me off more is your attitude. The way you see things isn't clear to me. I hate that fact.
I wanna feel like I know everything about you. I sometimes guess that you only say things to test me. I do the same thing to you. But sometimes you just don't do what I was thinking you would.
Today I saw you're tired face.
I keep telling myself that I should have swallowed my pride and just hug you and stay silent 'cause I didn't know what to say.
Right now I know that the words wouldn't have come out.
"we're going to be apart for 15 days!"
I know that and do you think that I don't care?
Sometimes I feel like you don't really know me.
I can predict most of your actions and words, but you?
Sometimes I feel so hopeless.
But I promised not to try to change you 'cause it's the You that I LOVE.
The you that's stubborn and that waits for me to go to you when I'm around everyone and having a good time.
The you that says that there's nothing going on.
The you that always looks into the past and keeps hurting yourself because of that.
The you that tells me to go away because I'm going to be scolded by my parents.
The you that loves me in a way that I can't describe 'cause it's only you that can do it.
Right now my eyes are swollen. I can't stop thinking about the way we parted.
I keep remembering your disappointed face.
But the worst is knowing that I don't wanna hear your voice.
I don't wanna keep agonizing about this.
I don't want us to blame each other. To hurt each other with words we didn't want to say like we did.
I don't want to be apart from you.
We're just s stupid couple with lots of stupid fights lately.
I keep thinking about that simple kiss. Just a simple touch. I didn't want that but I was so hurt that I just had to run home.
We were suppose to be together but we're both guilty because of our stubbornness.
I just can't write anymore.
I have to sleep.
I can't dream about you because if I will, I won't sleep.